Characters:

James Feldon: A James Lipton Type

Miranda Bane: Prestigious Actress

Student: Acting Student in Audience

James Feldon, illustrious acting teacher and television host, introduces his guest to his rapt audience of acting students.

James Feldon:

Good evening, and welcome to Inside the Dressing Room, where we delve into the complicated psyche of the modern, past, and timeless thespian. Today my guess is thrice Oscar-winning actress Miranda Bane.

Miranda Bane:

Hello James.

James Feldon:

Miranda, today we start at the beginning of your career. Your first break. What was the role?

Miranda Bane:

Oh this is so embarrasing, but I played a chimney sweep named Mrs. Pops. It was so silly, a complete Mary Poppins rip-off, but it was my first role, so I took it seriously. Get a working class woman’s life into her voice.

(Miranda speaks in exaggerated cockney accent)

“Oy, oi’m Mrs. Fops, an’ oi’m British!”

(Applause)

James Feldon:

Ha! Delightful. And then of course, came the role that won your first Academy Award, Queen Victoria.

Miranda Bane:

Well, with the Queen, I took a completely different approach. She’s stately, stuffy and a little big unhinged. I realized I’d have to be more vulnerable than I’d ever been. After racking my brain and endless talks with the director, I finally found her.

(Clears throat)

“Oy, oi’m the Queen of England an’ oi’m British!”

(Applause)

Student:

Excuse me, Ms. Bane. Have you… noticed your characters are all the same? I mean you played the Queen of England AND a chimney sweep with the same ridiculous accent.

Miranda Bane:

That is NOT true! I’ve trained for years to make my characters come alive! They come from pain and ecstasy and loss. Don’t believe me? I wasn’t supposed to reveal this yet, but just wait for my next role: Women’s Rights Leader Susan B. Anthony.

(Clears throat)

“Oy, oi’m Susan B Anfony, an’ o'im NOT British!”

(Thunderous applause)